Reading Sensual

Why we having less sex and how to fix it

The main problem with a lull in sex is usually not the lack of desire, but the self-built blockages in the head. 

Because your own thoughts are only about the question

“Do I want now or not?” 

circles, it becomes increasingly difficult to correctly interpret and classify your own lust. Because of the brooding, we lose sight of the essentials.

 “In such situations, many women tend to replace physical closeness with dutiful rituals,” says Dr. Carla Thiele. They believe they can show the other how important he is to them through a lavish dinner or freshly ironed shirts. An intimate hug or holding his hand while sitting next to you on the sofa would do much more than a lovely dinner .

 “To learn to allow intimacy again, fixed dates can actually help,

“says the therapist. So yes!” The highlight is that they do not necessarily have to end in sex. “For this reason, Dr. Carla Thiele does not speak of sex dates, but rather a ” fixed partner times ”and advises:” Plan such a partner time two to three times a week. “

 How many hours you reserve and how you want to spend your time together is up to you. 

A visit to the cinema is just as good as a trip to the spa or an extended winter walk. It is important that you concentrate on yourself as a couple during this time. 

Everything else stays outside: children are organized away, mothers-in-law, and Facebook are prohibited.

 The maxim is decisive: Everything is possible, nothing has to.

What do sex appointments bring?

It’s no different with sex than with sports. 

When training, nobody would advise you to go straight to the top again after a few weeks of workout breaks. Regardless of whether you are building muscle or having a love life – small steps lead to success much faster than big pike jumps when you are in a phase in which you can start with sex as little as with a panda bear in the living room. “It is a good start to allow small touches again,” said the expert Dr. Carla Thiele. 

Her advice: “Enjoy the moment without thinking about what might result from it.” The more physical contact you have, the more natural it will be to do more in bed at some point than to sleep side by side exhausted after a long day.

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