The Turn-Ons (and Turn-Offs) Conversation
Discussing what gets you going and what turns you off might be difficult, but it’s necessary. Bring up down-and-dirty dislikes outside of the bedroom, says Berman, who adds that a lot of couples make the mistake of having them in the moment, and that creates a very vulnerable environment. But rather than revealing the undesired behavior outright, frame the situation with a positive, says Andrea Syrtash, author of Cheat on Your Husband (With Your Husband). “Say, ‘I really love having sex with you, and I’d love to try this.’ Offering an alternative that might work better allows you to share a turn-on while also airing a turn-off,” says Syrtash.