Exploring the realm of sexual touch alongside your partner can be a beautiful way to deepen the intimacy between you both and uncover new facets of your own sexuality, as well as your partner’s. It’s important to approach sexual touch as a means of exploration rather than solely focusing on reaching orgasm. Some individuals may view this type of exploration as “energy work” or “spiritual sex,” but you don’t need to label it in that manner in order to engage in it. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to embark on this journey:
- Allocate dedicated time for touch. Exploring touch is a subtle and intimate activity that warrants ample time without distractions. Plan a date for this purpose when you won’t be rushed or interrupted. This isn’t meant to be a quick encounter but rather a deliberate and unhurried experience.
- Ground yourself. Consider the act of exploring touch with your partner as a form of meditation. Prior to initiating this type of sexual interaction, strive to clear your mind. You can time it right after exercising, practicing yoga, or even taking a walk to achieve a sense of calmness and groundedness. Being fully present is essential because distractions will be noticeable to both you and your partner.
- Ensure your partner’s comfort. Begin by creating a soothing atmosphere, such as starting off with a relaxing hot bath or giving your partner some personal time if it’s hard to come by in your living arrangement. If your partner experiences physical pain, make sure they are positioned comfortably. You don’t have to confine yourselves to a bed; using a mat on the floor or a comfortable chair can work just as well. Utilize pillows and blankets to enhance your partner’s comfort.
- Set the mood. Soft lighting, a comfortable room temperature (neither too hot nor too cold), and non-distracting music (preferably without lyrics) can contribute to establishing the right ambiance. The goal is to create an atmosphere that facilitates a deeper level of relaxation for both of you while allowing you to fully experience the connection between you.
- Encourage your partner to close their eyes. Exploring sexual touch is a unique experience because, in some ways, it combines intense solitary sexual sensations with a shared experience. Encourage your partner to wear a blindfold or simply keep their eyes closed. Doing so may enable both of you to feel more liberated, as it allows for movement and touch that might otherwise feel awkward if observed.
- Take in your partner’s entire body. If your vision is unimpaired, take a moment to visually appreciate your partner’s body as they lie there. Begin with their feet and gradually let your gaze wander up their body, much like appreciating a vast canvas in an art gallery. Do this without judgment or a specific goal in mind—simply allow your eyes to explore.
- Express admiration for your partner’s body. Verbally share your appreciation for specific parts of their body, starting your statements with phrases like “I love the way…” or “I can’t stop looking at…” Focus solely on positive aspects and what currently attracts you or has always aroused you. If your gaze lingers on a certain part, continue moving upward until you reach the top of their head.
- Commence touching your partner. You can start with any part of their body, beginning with the gentlest possible touch that still maintains skin-to-skin contact. Consider this as the tactile equivalent of a whisper. Keep this gentle touch going for a while, exploring how you can delicately interact with your partner.
- Be attentive and observant. Notice your partner’s reactions to your touch and pay attention to your own sensory experience. Observe how they respond—listen for any noises they make, watch for changes in their facial expressions, and feel how their