Over time, the routine can easily take hold within the couple and impact the well-being of the relationship, especially at the sexual level. So how do you rekindle desire? With these few tips that will help you find the chemistry of your beginnings.
1 – Play sex games
Break the daily routine, having intimate relationships outside the marital bed can revive desire and boost dopamine, a pleasure hormone, in your partner. To do this, bet on role playing, on new places and unusual positions or use sex toys of all kinds.
“Your brain has a hard time distinguishing the anxiety caused by a new situation from that caused by your first meeting with your loved one,” explains Victoria Zdrok, psychologist and author of The 30-Day Sex Solution . Thus, the novelty will improve your satisfaction in bed and strengthen the ties between your partner and you.
2 – Resuscitate old memories
Relive old memories, frequenting the places where you lived unforgettable moments. This will stimulate the hormone called norepinephrine which allows the brain to associate positive feelings with memories. “So you will awaken his passion and intensify the moments that you will experience later” explains the famous relational therapist, Laura Berman. Note that brain activity is very context sensitive. Smells, music, texture, food; this is what creates unforgettable memories.
3 – Increase your oxytocin level
The research shows that attention be greatly to its partners through the love hormone: oxytocin. It fights stress, increases libido and above all, it is secreted during physical contact (hugs, kisses, massages). Therefore, multiply the physical attentions and opt for various caresses if you want to rekindle the flame!
4 – Let her take control
A study from the University of Michigan showed that female rats predominantly produce dopamine, a hormone of pleasure, when dominate during sex and that this behavior could be similar in women. However, sex therapist and author of Come Hither , Gloria Brame, advises not to be mistaken in wanting to let the other take control. This decision must work for both partners , not just one.
5 – Become a stranger
According to a study by the Massachussetts Institute of Technology (MIT), we keep a sort of neurological record on the people we have known. ” We reorganize our patterns when we meet someone we have already seen in the company of other people, ” said William Pollack, professor of psychiatry at Harvard University. So, if your partner sees you differently, it will bring out other aspects of your personality, which will stimulate his neurotransmitters and his attraction to you. So be sure to take dinner or introduce your partner to new acquaintances so that the desire returns in your relationship.
6 – Learn new positions
To improve the sexual relation, it is advisable to use new sexual positions because ” all that is new or exciting will boost the level of dopamine ” explains the anthropologist and author of Why We Love, Helen Fisher. Dopamine is a pleasure hormone, which plays an essential role in matters of sexuality. In addition, according to neurobiologist , Jean-Didier Vincent, this hormone works in conjunction with certain parts of the brain that manage motor skills, and therefore sexual positions, to give meaning to romantic lovemaking.
7 – remember your beginnings
So that desire becomes part of your relationship again, remember your beginnings! “Even if you know how to make her happy, never skip the preliminary box,” says Dr. Debby Herbenick, professor of sex education at the Kinsey Institute (Indiana University, United States). So, to relive the excitement of the beginnings, test this method: try not to have sex for three daysthen spend a night together (dressed) and doing nothing. Then wait two days and on the third day, sensually caress all the private parts of the body except the sex. Take two more days and repeat the same caresses but this time with your lips. Your levels of dopamine and testosterone, the hormones of well-being and sexuality, will increase considerably.