1. Pretend you just met him
“When our sex life started to slow down, I started thinking about how another woman would see my husband if she just met him – and this made me want to impress him. I did things like buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. We totally rediscovered each other’s sexiness after that.”
2. Tease each other
“Sometimes, when my husband and I wake up and hear the kids, we start kissing and caressing anyway. Of course we don’t continue, but we get all worked up and then go all day stealing little looks and kisses. Sure, we could duck away and end the torture, but I think that secretly, we both enjoy this little dance. It definitely keeps things exciting!”
3. Act on your moods
“My problem was that even if I was in the mood when my husband was at work, by the time he got home I’d be too exhausted. It started to get so frustrating! Then, I figured out a plan. Every time I get in the mood during the middle of the day, I put a blindfold or something suggestive under his pillow. Even though I may be too tired to initiate sex later, he finds my little clue and definitely gets the message.”
4. Get high-tech
“I’ve started emailing my husband sexy fantasy scenarios on his personal email account. This really helps me to get brave. Because sometimes, I just feel silly showing him my sexual side when we’re face-to- face. Plus, getting his mind going like that has certainly has paid off.”
5. Rent an “adult” video
“There are so many helpful sex videos available that are not intimidating at all. The one I like is narrated by a sex therapist; it’s instructional in nature. You learn how to effectively stimulate someone, but on a really nonthreatening level.”
6. Take real life and shove it
“My husband and I were always too busy for love. Finally, one night we were getting serious about fooling around and what happened? The phone rang! Even though he picked it up, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and kept right on kissing him, all over. I loved that power, and he went wild too – when he finally got off the phone.”
7. Be at each other’s mercy
“Once I whispered in my significant other’s ear to take hold of my hand. Then I told him I was going to close my eyes and he had to place my hand anywhere on his body. Then I massaged whatever area it was. He was kind of in control, but ultimately I controlled the pleasure.”
8. Surprise him – and yourself!
“I flashed my husband when he got home from work last night. Enough said, right?”
9. Heat up the outdoors
“We like to pack a picnic and head to our favorite secluded spot. Sometimes we even get to go skinny dipping there. When you try it don’t forget a blanket or sleeping bag, pillows and bug spray because you’re sure in for a long night! Of course, city dwellers can picnic too. Just create a hideaway spot on your bedroom floor!”
10. Be aggressive
“Telling my husband what to do in bed is very erotic. Although I wouldn’t want a puppy dog for a husband all the time, it is so much fun to say what I want, when and how. Then there is seeing his response! He might get even more turned on than me.”
11. Share (racy) compliments
“Once my husband and I were going to fool around in front of a mirror. He stood behind me and slowly undressed me. But as he moved along he told me how beautiful each part of my body is. Let me tell you, I didn’t mind a bit. Compliments are a wonderful way to heat up any situation. The next time we made love I gave him a few of my own!”
12. Do a little dance
“I know that lots of women feel comfortable doing a striptease, but I’m way too shy to try it. I have my own version of one. I just dance for my fiancé, making him want to touch me, but never let him. After I’ve taken off just a few items of clothing, I let him do the rest! It’s all at my speed, and he loves it! In the end, we’re both very happy.”
13. Go to a “toy store” together.
“My husband and I had planned a real date, just the two of us. We dressed up and hit the town. After dinner, I was sure the night was finished, but he had a detour planned. We pulled right into a sex store! I think if he gave me time to think about it, I’d have chickened out. But instead, we walked through the whole store – and it was very exciting! I think that I even managed to control the blushing until we left.”
14. Slip into something more comfortable
“One night, after my boyfriend and I went out dancing, he offered to get take-out and bring it back to my place. While he was gone, I decided to make the room – and myself – more ‘comfortable.’ This meant lighting candles, putting on a long satin nightgown, and spraying room freshener. I didn’t plan on taking it further, but when he walked in with the food, I saw his eyes jump. So I decided to walk over to him seductively. I pressed my body up to his, and whispered into his ear, ‘I have wanted you so badly all night.’ That’s when his mouth hit the floor, along with the food!”
15. Spend intimate time together
“Read a chapter of a book together every night. You can eat grapes, drink wine, even incorporate adult toys or choose to read erotic literature to each other. But for my husband and me, this is all about making an effort to touch, cuddle and spend intimate time together. That leads to an exciting evening no matter what!”
16. Appeal to all his senses
“I have been known to put cinnamon on a cookie sheet, turn the oven on and leave the door open a bit. This fills the house with the smell of chocolate chip cookies and puts my husband in a really good mood. 350 degrees usually does the trick!”
17. Get – and give – sneak previews
“What I like best is when my boyfriend and I describe what we’re about to do to each other before doing it. As he talks, I can practically feel what will happen to my body. Talk about a double whammy. When he finally does it, I go through the roof! ”
18. Make a bedroom rule “There is one standing ‘rule’ in our bedroom. We are not allowed to use the same position more than once in a week. Of course we break the rule, but not often, and it generally keeps us from getting into a boring sexual routine.“
19. Make a game of it
“I challenge my boyfriend to a game of basketball when things get dull. Whoever wins gets whatever he or she wants. Plus, you could make it a full body contact sport.”
20. End boredom with a routine
“We always celebrate the new year with sex! We’ve tried to time our orgasms so they both strike right at midnight, but haven’t been able to yet. The good news is that we just get to keep trying next year!”