Methods are simple, but they are approaches that work, and you can find many ways to introduce novelty.
So for example, if you’re at home, try doing things that you would never normally do: for example, instead of going out to dinner when you have a babysitter, go out to a hotel and have sex.
Or you can have a “secret affair” with your partner, one which has an error of romance and mystery about it, especially if you use techniques that might be appropriate to more clandestine affairs.
Instead of saying to the babysitter that you’re going to have sex in a hotel, say you’re going to a movie. Then go along to the hotel and have raunchy sex, just like adolescents might do! Only you will know the truth when you get home….
There’s something satisfying and pleasing about going crazy and raunchy every few days or weeks, and even though nobody will ever find out, you and your partner will have something really exciting to anticipate and look forward to, if you do it on a regular basis…..
Another extremely useful technique is writing your own X-rated movie – and acting in it! Sex is a behaviour that actually takes us away from our civilised, restricted selves, and allows us to engage in something raunchy and primal.
The more that you can get nearer to that primal experience, the better.
So if you’re willing, for example, to try a fantasy of having an affair, why not book a hotel for you and your partner, and then text your partner simply the location of the hotel and the time they need to be there.
This will certainly get them excited, and it will certainly be a technique that adds spice to sex. And once you’re there, you can actually enjoy your fantasies.
Everyone has sexual fantasies, but in my experience comparatively few people discuss their sexual fantasies with each other as part of any kind of conscious sexual technique.
Yet once you get over any element of shame or embarrassment about using a method that involves putting your fantasies into some kind of role play in real life, you’ll find this method brings huge spice to your sex life.
After all, your fantasy is there for a reason – it turns you on. And if it happens to be a complementary fantasy to one your partner holds, then so much the better.
For example, if your partner has fantasies about behaving like a hooker, and you have fantasies about picking one up, then your fantasies can come together to give you an amazing sexual experience in role play.
And because it’s outside the bounds of your normal sexual life, it can be all the more exciting and thrilling for that.
And of course there are many other techniques that you can use, such as vibrators, porn, and other paraphernalia that can help you with sexual techniques to take you outside the normal limitations of your sex life.
Porn is a sex technique that can be slightly difficult and challenging between a couple, but nonetheless is worth experimenting with. Use “decent” porn, which is probably better called erotica, especially when it shows people having sex in the context of love. Women are often jealous of porn, imagining that their man is, in some way, more attracted to the woman in the film than he is to them, but you may find if you get over this, that watching porn together will produce an extra sexual thrill.
Another technique that can be extremely useful is naughty text thing, we text your partner with messages that can arouse and excite them.
And so this brings us on to phone sex, because for couples who are complaining that sex is boring, the technique of phone sex can often really invigorate their sex lives. Quickie, obscene phone calls, really turn each other on. So techniques like this can be really helpful because they bring you back to a place of adolescent excitement and sexual naivete, in the days when anything new was hugely exciting be a tremendous sexual turn on. Sexual text thing, sexual phone calls, using porn, fantasy work, are all methods that a lot of couples have used to reinvigorate their sex lives in a dramatic way. They’re actually very useful techniques, particularly in a relationship where sex has lost its excitement and become more like a duty. Of course one of the things that is necessary for this technique to work is that you have to be willing to be willing to have sex. In other words it’s not about being talked into sex, or been persuaded by your partner that it’s a good thing, but actually setting your own intention to join in sexual techniques that can increase your arousal and make sex more interesting and exciting – in short, to make sex more desirable. Not knowing how sex will turn out when you start on some kind of personal adventure can make it even more exciting. We do need the cooperation of your partner, you may think that playing sex games within a stable relationship is a little bit childish and silly. If so, particularly its the man who’s experiencing some resistance to these techniques, and the woman can use all her feminine wiles and charms to seduce him and excite him and get him in the mood for sex.